ZOE

Zoe is a total shit! She really pissed me off today. I stopped at Taco Bell for some Doredo taco supremes to go. When I got back to the truck Zoe was waiting on my seat. I put her on the dash and got situated. I took a couple bites of taco and hit the road. As I was eating, Zoe sat up and started moving her head around and bobbing. A fly had gotten into the truck. As I went to set my half eaten taco down she ran across the dash and jumped into my lap. She sent my taco flying into the door, window and floor. Before I could get a full scream out she had turned and jumped back onto the dash. Zoe almost didn't make it. She was able to save her self by using my soda pop that was in the cup holder for a little extra boost. My Mountain Dew hit the carpeting bursting open. Still driving down the road I started to clean up the mess. I took out the 2 remaining tacos and discovered they were destroyed during her mad dash for the fly. I cleaned up what I could putting it in the bag and Zoe was on the dash the whole time searching for the fly. Until she smelt sour cream. She then started pawing at the bag of taco garbage on the dash. Spreading the mess onto my dash. I finally pulled over and wiped down the door, the floor, the dash and me. The 2 remaining tacos were pulverized. I had to pinch and shovel them in, in order to eat them.
Zoe wasn't done. For dinner I bought a sandwich and a medium sized bag of chips, that way I would have some for later and a tea with screw on cap. She came over and licked the chip bag then put her front legs over the bag and sniffed my sandwich. Zoe then abruptly laid down. She crushed the crap out of my chips. You want to kill her but then she curls up in my lap and goes to sleep.